jameson musings

shake it till my dick turns racist

jesus fucking christ. worst performing ipo in 2 years and my dumb ass gets in hard? thanks. thanks. a lot. assholes.

crack cocaine will fry your brain.

i can transform, im a transformer, no telling who i'll have to be again

my new hero

i dont care about you or your weak crew

what you gonna do when big poppa come for you?

how in the fuck can there only be 9 ponies for the preakness?! that's like only 504 permutations!

i want it all

duh?

thanks a lot, newspaper, for making me worry about anything slice of bullshit life has dropped on my lap this week.esp

i did laugh.

what? how about you ask for a bigger purse since no one gives a flying fuck about men's tennis?

soon come

second worst. marketing. ploy. ever.

what the fuck?! stop snitching, bitches.

so knives out catch the mouse.

execrable whore!

pistons in 5 to generate more revenue for the 3rd home game.

i want what they're smoking.

i am not a witness

will parker be hammered by 8am?: 1:10,000 YES
will parker be arrested?: 3:1 NO
will parker get naked?: 5:1 NO
will parker get into a fight?: 4:1 YES
will parker get into a fight with a frat boy?: 6:1 YES
will parker pass out?: 1:1 NO

will parker hit the trifecta?: 1:1,000,000 NO

the sea is rolling like a thousand pound keg

estaminet?

poop!

say it with me now, it's my money.

put your troubles in a little pile and i'll sort them out for you.

the new generation of rice burners.

no adu? why? because you want to market your product?

todd oldham now sells flowers? goddamnit...

but wait,  how do african bootleggers charge for this?

bonita applebum, you gotta put me on.

marketing whores, i hate and love you so much at the same time.

Life’s full of hard choices:

call in sick on a 75-degree Thursday or suck it up and go to work?

second date with someone who didn’t float your boat?

Go smooth on your PB&J or opt for the extra-crunchy?

YES, NO, SMOOVE.